Until I Fall Asleep
by lunarcaterpillar
Summary: Resubmission of an old story that got deleted from my account: Believing that he is being unfaithful, Ziva goes to confront Tony on out-of-state assignment, but something happens there that threatens more than their relationship. Tiva


Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: T

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

A/N: This is a crossover with House. Sorry if that's not your thing. Yes, I know they have sections for that now, but it mostly concerns NCIS so I put it here. I'm a rebel; so report me already.

_The hotel in Madrid was much nicer than they were used to and far better than any place that they had stayed at while investigating out of state. But this was, after all, their honeymoon._

"_Feel familiar?" Tony asked, as they got into the elevator with their bags. (They could have had someone take them, but they didn't want to take any chances. Tony worried that the week from hell would have one last joke to play on them.)_

"_Yes and I have to say that I much prefer it without the gun to my head," Ziva said. "And," she said with a sly smile, "it will be a bit more realistic this time." He smiled back at her and leaned in to kiss her. The kiss got more and more passionate and Ziva felt Tony's hand under her shirt. "Take it easy, Tony."_

"_What? You do realize that this is our honeymoon which will be, like all honeymoons before it, entirely concerned with having as much sex as two people can have without the paramedics being called?"_

"_Yes," Ziva replied. "But can we save it for the room? I may be what you call sexually adventurous but I draw the line at sex in the elevator of a Spanish hotel."_

"_Just foreplay for our wedding night."_

"_Uh, Tony, did you notice the big bright thing in the sky when we came in? Means it's daytime; our wedding night is over." The elevator dinged at their floor and they started toward their room. Tony was fiddling with his phone. _

"_Aha!" he said, triumphantly after a second. Once inside, he put his things down, drew the curtains, grabbed Ziva and pulled her onto the bed. _

"_It's still 0509 in Hawaii," he said. "Sunrise isn't until 0525. If we hurry we can still have sex while it is technically, somewhere, still our wedding night." Ziva giggled, then in one motion flipped him on his back. _

"_Another quickie like yesterday?" she said. _

"_This one might be," Tony said. "But you know we're not leaving this room for the rest of the week, right?"_

"_Ok, but what about the—" Tony put one hand over her mouth._

"_If you say one word about museums or historical sites," he said. "You're spending the rest of our honeymoon tied to this bed."_

"_And I thought you didn't go for things like that."_

"_You're the one who said you were sexually adventurous." He pulled her close to him and kissed her. "C'mon, Ziva, we've got fourteen minutes left."_

"Ziva!" McGee's hiss startled her awake. He walked past her desk mouthing 'Boss". She immediately tried to look like she had been working and not dozing while daydreaming about her honeymoon.

"Got that report finished for me, David?" Gibbs said as he strode into the bullpen. "Or do we need to reinstate naptime as a regular part of the day? I don't mind; it seemed to really help DiNozzo."

"Sorry, Gibbs," she said. "Won't happen again."

"That's what you said last week." He leaned over her desk and leaned over to speak to her privately. "You've been off your game for a while now, Ziva; anything I should know about? Like maybe the real reason why you're going back to Israel?"

"It's only for a month, Gibbs," Ziva said. "After I come back, I think you'll understand." She turned to put papers in a folder; she heard him sigh, then walk away from her desk. He went to his own, removed something from a drawer and brought it to her. She glanced at it; it was the business card of a divorce lawyer.

"One of the few decent ones in DC," he said. "I don't know how messy this has gotten already between you two, but he'll help you straighten it out."

"Thanks, Gibbs." She tried to smile. Although helpful, it wasn't actually what she had been referring to. "Don't be too hard on him when he gets back."

"I won't. No matter how many times you go through it, it's always tough."

"I'm going to Israel because I thought we should spend some time apart."

"New Jersey isn't far enough for you?" Tony had been on the surveillance mission in New Jersey for close to six months. There was still no word on how much longer it would be.

"I just—after the past few months, I need a break."

"I understand."

"Tony and I will spend some time apart—on different sides of the globe—and hopefully when we both come back, we can behave like mature adults."

"Yeah," Gibbs said. "I thought the same thing about my second wife. Never works."

"Then we will be petty children for a few weeks. I will not let it interfere with my work." Gibbs nodded.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"So am I. Is there anything else I need to do? My flight leaves at 1400."

"No. Go ahead. See you in a few weeks."

With some effort she managed a small smile and started to pack up her backpack. Her head was hurting terribly and she was exhausted. It had been hard to sleep for the past few nights and she usually woke up feeling just as bad as she had when she lay down. And she had already taken more Tylenol that day than she should. Agent Makowski, who had joined the team in the space left by Tony's transfer, waved to her on his way to the lab to check on something. She looked over at his desk—Tony's old place. Everything had been so perfect. She had loved him with all her heart and, more importantly, she had trusted him. It had been foolish, and now she was paying the price. She should have known that Tony hadn't changed. Maybe he had really tried…but it didn't matter now. Her only problem was that now separating herself from him took more than just a declaration and a mover's truck. She was flying to New Jersey today; she would tell him tonight and hope that he was too shocked to say anything before she got out the door.

Ziva walked into the tiny apartment in New Jersey, feeling terrible after the flight and having to deal with luggage. All her things were still in the trunk of the rental car outside. Also there had been a few minor traffic issues; she drove worse than usual when she was upset. She would be leaving on the 0415 flight to London, connecting there with a flight to Tel Aviv. There would be no lawyers involved at this point; they would do that when she got back. But she owed it to Tony to tell him personally.

The apartment smelled of the usual cigarette smoke and floral perfume. She was almost insulted that Tony thought she was stupid enough not to notice. She had mentioned it casually on one of her visits a few weeks before; Tony had said that the guy next door smoked and it came through the ventilation. She hadn't said anything about the perfume. But she had looked around the rest of the apartment during her visit and had found, among other things, a used condom. And a few strands of long blond hair. She had done a little investigating and had discovered an Agent Veronica Sparks who worked there in New Jersey and had been on the surveillance assignment with Tony. Her hair was a similar color and length.

There was a message on the machine; it was from Tony for her.

"Hey, sweetie. Hope your flight was good. Listen, I'm going to be working a little bit later than I thought, so you just relax, maybe slip into something more comfortable. I'll bring home dinner. I'll take you out this weekend sometime, but tonight I'd rather stay in. Can't wait to see you. I love you." Click.

Not the slightest hint of shame, and when he could have been lying naked in bed with the woman at that very moment. Ziva had told herself that she wouldn't cry until she got back to Israel and was away from Tony. But right now she didn't care. She sank onto the sofa and cried herself to sleep.

Tony got home in a good mood, cheerfully twirling his keys and whistling as he got out of his car. He hadn't seen Ziva in two weeks. Two weeks was a long time for him. He would be glad when the assignment was over; he asked himself why he had taken it every morning that he woke up alone. For once, it was nice to be able to go home and spend a weekend alone with his wife.

He walked in still whistling and set the food that he had brought home on the counter. He saw Ziva standing at the kitchen counter, a knife in her hand. It looked like she was slicing something.

"Get hungry waiting for me?" he asked her, leaning in to kiss her neck. "I've missed you so—" He stopped. Ziva had a knife in one hand; the other was positioned as though she was holding something to cut it with the knife. But nothing was there. He looked at her face; her eyes were closed. She was sleepwalking. He had never known her to do that before.

"Ziva," he whispered. "Can you hear me?" She didn't reply. Tony wasn't sure what he should do. Surely she would wake up by herself eventually. Then he looked down at her hands and realized that the knife blade was drifting dangerously close to her left hand. One more stroke would probably cut her. He reached to grab her hand and pull it away.

Without any warning, Ziva spun around and with an angry cry, stabbed the knife into his arm. Tony yelled with shock and pain. Blood started soaking through his shirt. He grabbed the dish towel that was hanging on the cabinet handle nearby and wrapped it around the knife handle. Then he heard another scream. Ziva had apparently woken up and was staring at him in horror.

"What did I do?" she asked breathlessly. "What happened?" Tony had no idea and was absorbed in keeping pressure on the wound, no matter how painful it was. Ziva grabbed her keys. "Come on," she said to him. "You've got to get to the hospital; where is it?"

"Nearest is Princeton-Plainsboro," Tony managed to say. "Get on the highway and head north."

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: K+

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

A/N: I forgot to mention in the first chapter; this is the sequel to "The Week from Hell" and takes place about six months afterwards.

Chapter Two

Ziva and Tony didn't talk much on the drive to the hospital. Tony was still in shock and Ziva was trying to focus on getting him there as fast as possible without causing a wreck and doing more damage. After the pain had subsided a little bit, Tony tried to pull the knife out to see what the wound looked like.

"Do not do that. Leave it in. It will only bleed more if you remove the knife. The doctors will remove it at the hospital." Ziva glanced at him. He appeared stable and it didn't seem like he had lost that much blood. There really wasn't any need to be driving so fast. But it was all she had to focus on at the moment. She wasn't even going to try to process what had happened at the apartment. She had been dreaming and the dream had had nothing to do with Tony, but she couldn't figure out how she had gotten off the couch, much less how she had gotten a knife to stab him with. And lurking at the back of her mind was a feeling almost like satisfaction, that she'd gotten a little revenge for what he had done to her. Angry as she was, she didn't want to be happy that she had injured her soon to be ex-husband. So she kept driving, following the signs on the highway and Tony's directions and they arrived at the hospital.

It was a beautiful afternoon at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital. The Diagnostic Medicine Department had just finished a case and had a mountain of paperwork to do. In other words, it was the perfect day for Dr. House to go down to the ER and annoy Dr. Cameron.

She came out of the ER exam room and came face to face with him sitting on the counter. He gave her a mock-sympathetic look.

"That—" he said. "Is the face of someone who just had to remove a fecal impaction. Was it one of those really hard ones, where you know that no amount of mineral oil is going to help?"

"You are just in time," Cameron said. She was too busy to deal with him right then. It had been a sixteen hour shift; she had missed breakfast and lunch and the only reason her bladder wasn't about to explode was that she hadn't had time to drink anything since she had left the house very early that morning. "I'll make you a deal, House. You take one, just one of my patients, and I will work two of your clinic hours this week."

"Sorry, I can't," House said. "This place looks really stressful. I'm taking a mental health day. My psychiatrist says it's essential to maintaining inner peace."

"Know what else helps to maintain inner peace?" Cameron said, undaunted. "Me not telling Cuddy about you going to Geriatrics and mixing up everyone's dentures. Now take a patient. I don't care which." Behind them, a nurse was escorting a couple to a room, the man being supported by the woman. He was obviously in pain, but the woman had a look on her face that was hard to read. After they were in the room, the nurse came up to Cameron and handed her the beginning of a chart. "Anthony DiNozzo, 38, got a knife in his upper left arm. Started IV fluids; he's holding pressure on the wound, but you're going to have to take it out." Cameron looked at House.

"Ok," he said. "I'll take this one." He took the chart from the nurse, got off the counter and hobbled into Exam Room 2.

Tony was lying on the bed, grimacing, with Ziva sitting beside him holding a towel around his arm. An IV had been started in his other hand. House watched both of them for a moment.

"You the doctor?" Tony finally asked. "Think you could get this out of my arm here? It's kind of interrupting our weekend."

"Let me guess," House said. "The butler in the conservatory with the table knife, or maybe Colonel Mustard in the dining room with the butter knife. Or—" He looked at Ziva. "The wife—with whatever kind of knife he's got sticking out of there." She looked back at him with more surprise than indignation. "What happened? Fight over the remote? Bondage sex got out of hand and someone forgot the safe word?"

"Are you a doctor or the police?" Ziva asked. "Just get the knife out." She got up and moved so House could sit down. He glanced at the floor, glanced at her, then turned his attention to the man. Slowly he unwrapped the towel, while Tony hissed with pain. Underneath, blood had dried and congealed and a red mass of muscle could be seen through the incision. Ziva stood by watching at first, getting more and more pale. Then she made a face.

"I'll—I'll be right back, Tony," she said, and left. When she was gone, Tony looked at House and smiled apologetically.

"For the record, she was sleepwalking," he told him. "You don't have to report her or anything, do you?"

"No," House said. "Was it serrated? The knife, I mean?"

"No, just an ordinary knife." House went to the supply cabinet and got what he would need to treat the wound.

"Brace yourself," he said, and pulled the knife out, then quickly pressed gauze to the wound. Tony groaned in pain. House applied the antiseptic, then put on some anesthetic and threaded the needle.

"So," House said. "No problems?"

"No. We're fine. I mean, we haven't seen each other for awhile; she just flew up from DC for the weekend. But there haven't been any problems."

"Right," House said. "No problems, other than the fact that she's leaving you."

"What?" Tony almost pulled away while House was finishing a stitch. "No, she's not. I told you, she didn't mean to do it—"

"She's not sorry," House cut in. "If that happened to most women, you wouldn't be able to get them to shut up. Of course that doesn't necessarily mean that they're sorry either. But she thinks that you deserve it."

"No she doesn't. And believe me, Ziva's not your normal woman."

"I noticed that. What, is she Arabic? Greek?"

"Israeli," Tony said with a smile. "I know. It's nice."

"Which explains perfectly…" Having finished with Tony, he reached down and picked up a piece of paper off the floor. "…a one-way ticket to Tel Aviv. Leaves tomorrow morning." The smile left Tony's face and he grabbed the ticket from House. He looked for a minute like he couldn't believe it.

"No," he said. "No way. She—she couldn't. I don't get it." House looked thoughtful.

"The sleepwalking just started?" he asked.

"I never saw her do it before," he said in a distant voice, still staring at the ticket.

"Never? Not even in, say, the past two or three months?"

"No. How is this relevant? Unless you think there's something wrong with her head and that's why—that's why she's—" He put his hand over his mouth; House could see the devastation setting in.

"That is pretty harsh," he said. "I think there must be some resentment there, especially since she didn't tell she was pregnant—" Tony's jaw dropped.

"_What_?" he said. "What—Ziva's pregnant? How would you know?"

"The female pelvis rearranges during pregnancy and the way a woman walks changes. You were leaning on her earlier, which means either you didn't know or you didn't care; I assumed the former. She doesn't seem like the type of girl to get sick at the sight of blood either."

"Never has," Tony said, in the same shell-shocked voice. "I thought it was just that it was me."

The door opened and closed. Tony and Ziva stared at each other.

"Ziva," Tony said, his voice shaking. "What's this?" He held out the ticket.

"An airplane ticket. I'm going back to Israel tonight," she said, with no emotion in her voice.

"You're leaving me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I thought that was obvious, Tony." Tony swallowed hard.

"And is it true what he says?" he asked her. "Are you pregnant?"

"I am. Almost six months now." Tony's face twisted with shock.

"_Six months_?" he said. "You've been pregnant for six months and you didn't tell me? Ziva, what the hell is going on? When were you going to tell me this?"

"Tonight."

"You can't be pregnant; you're not even showing."

"I am a little now; I wasn't the last time you saw me. Some women don't show much. And I had very little morning sickness, just that one week that I told you was the flu."

"And you're taking the baby to Israel?"

"Yes. It's only for a month. When I come back we will be divorced. I will probably stay with NCIS, so you will be able to see her."

"Ziva, have you lost your mind?" he yelled at her. "Why are you leaving me and taking my child halfway across the world? Is there somebody else?"

"Yes, Tony. _Your_ somebody else. Agent Sparks."

"What? You think I'm cheating on you?"

"Don't lie to me, Tony!" she said. "When I came to your apartment—the smoke, the perfume, the hair—I even found a tube of lip gloss once! Explain that!"

"I told you; the smoke—"

"Only an idiot would believe that. Do you take me for one?"

"No! The landlord's kid told me that! He said it was the ventilation."

"Tony, please." Tears were coming into Ziva's eyes. "Please, can we just end this like adults? I know you have been sleeping with her, Tony. I even found the condoms."

"I don't have any, Ziva. I threw them all away when we decided to try to have kids."

"Tony, I am leaving no matter what you say. Please respect me enough to tell me the truth." Tony got off the bed and walked toward her, pulling the IV pole behind him.

"I swear to you that I haven't touched another woman since we've been together," he said. "I don't know what's going on in the apartment—or in your head—but I'm not cheating on you. Ziva, please believe me. Agent Sparks hasn't even been in my apartment. I would never do that to you." Ziva slapped him before he had even finished the sentence.

"Don't you dare lie to me again!" she said. "When you've been lying to me since the day we got married! Why did you even want this child, so you can lie to her too? She deserves better than you, you son of a bitch!"

House had, of course, been watching all this with great interest. When Ziva mentioned the lip gloss, he looked intrigued; when Tony talked about the landlord's kid, he smiled to himself. Now he looked at Tony.

"Are you at your apartment during the hours of 3 and 7 normally?" he asked.

"No," Tony said, surprised by the question. "I'm usually at work."

"And how old is the landlord's kid?"

"About fifteen. I really don't see how this is relevant."

"Cherry lip gloss?"

"Tangerine flavored." Ziva was still glaring at Tony. "I hope she made it fun for you."

"I didn't—"

"Hold that thought," House said, getting to his feet and walking toward the door. Tony opened his mouth again. "I said hold on!" House said. He opened the door and stood in the doorway.

"Hey! Attention, ER people! Everybody!" Patients, nurses and unit clerks all turned to look at him. "My name is Dr. Gregory House; I'm sure you all know me by reputation. I am about to do something nice by saving this young couple's marriage and I am doing it of my own free will. So if any of you are asked about me by a Dr. Wilson or Cuddy, you can tell them that I have spent my afternoon bestowing beneficence upon the public. Ok, you can all go back to work now; that's pretty much it." Ziva and Tony were distracted for the moment from being angry at each other to being angry at House.

"Who exactly do you think you are?" Tony demanded.

"The doctor you will be thanking on bended knee in a matter of minutes," House said. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, your husband's not cheating on you."

"And how would you know that?"Ziva asked.

"The bad news," House said, looking at Tony. "Is that you have an infestation."

"You're telling me that bugs are the reason that my wife wants to leave me?"

"Oh, no. No, this is much worse than bugs. Actually, this kind of infestation can last for years and is, in most states, illegal to exterminate." He looked at Ziva. "Tangerine lip gloss; the lip-moistening product of choice for your typical American teenage girl."

"I'm really not sure what you're getting at," Tony said. House glanced at his watch.

"If you go home right now and go in quietly, you should be able to catch them," he said. "Go on, go."

"There are teenagers in my apartment?"

"Well, go home and see for yourself." He put on gloves and in one smooth motion pulled out his IV. "Go." Still looking confused, Tony moved towards the door. Ziva picked the ticket up from the bed and put it in her coat pocket, then followed Tony. House stuck his cane out and blocked her way.

"I meant him," he said. "You are staying here and spending the night in our sleep lab."

"I don't need to have any tests; I'm fine," Ziva said.

"Of course you don't. No reason to listen to the doctor. You'll know of course that sleepwalking can be a sign of azotemia, uremia, hyperthyroidism, sleep apnea, or cardiac arrhythmia and that any of these conditions could be fatal to the fetus that's living, well, hiding in your abdomen. Don't worry. Go on about your business." Ziva hesitated. "Well?"

"I'm going with him," she said. "I need to see this with my own eyes. But I'll be back," she added. "You really think there's something wrong with me?"

"Well, yes, considering that you got married in the first place. But, medically, it's hard to tell; we'll have to stick electrodes to your head before we know anything definitive. Ask the admitting clerk for Dr. House and someone from my team will come and take you to the sleep lab." Ziva nodded and left with Tony.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: K+

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

Chapter Three

The drive back to the apartment was tense. Finally Tony said something.

"It's a girl?" he said.

"Yes," Ziva said, coolly. "I went for an ultrasound at 20 weeks and they told me that they were mostly sure that we are having a girl."

"Have you been feeling ok?"

"I've been worse. I have nausea and headaches every day and there's some other things, but it hasn't been so bad." She paused. "I guess you weren't lying. Even you wouldn't be so stupid as to take me back to the apartment to prove that there have been teenagers sneaking in when there obviously haven't."

"Oh, well, thank you; you're finally going to take seriously the man you promised to love and stay with forever. When I haven't cheated on you once this whole time, and you know, with us being separated, it hasn't always been easy."

"Tony, you're not helping." She sighed. "Let's just see if we can figure out what's going on here. Then we can talk about our relationship."

At the doorway they paused and looked at each other. Ziva wondered if she was crazy to be going along with this. Tony wondered how blind he would have to be not to notice that teenagers were breaking into his apartment. They stared a moment longer, then Tony quietly turned the key in the lock and they went in. The first thing that they heard was the sound of pop music coming from the bedroom.

Tony slammed open the door and found himself looking at three kids between the ages of 14 and 16. A boy in the corner was smoking a cigarette next to an open window, while the landlord's son was sitting on the bed with his arms around a girl with blond hair. For a moment they all stared at each other in shock.

"What the hell is going on here?" Tony said. The landlord's son tried to stutter out something.

"Dude, I thought you said we weren't going to get caught!" said the kid by the window. "They're going to call the cops on us!" Ziva looked at Tony.

"I don't believe it," she said. "That doctor was right." Tony grabbed the two on the bed and pulled them to their feet.

"Get off our bed," he said. "How long has this been going on?" All three kids looked too terrified to reply. Ziva walked over to the kid by the window and took the cigarette out of his hand.

"Do you have any idea what this will do to your lungs?" she asked him. "You will be breathing through a hole in your neck by the time you are forty!" Tony was already dialing the landlord's number.

"There's two others; a girl and a boy. Ok. We'll be here." He hung up. "Your dad is coming," he said. "And he's calling these two's parents too." There was a general groan. "If anyone has a problem with that I can always call the cops as well."

The landlord came to collect the three of them with many apologies, promises of rent discounts and yelling at the kids. As soon as they were gone, Ziva stripped the sheets off of the bed and put them in the washer with several cups of bleach. Tony looked at her questioningly.

"I told you I found a used condom here once, right?" Tony told her not to bother and went to the store to get new ones.

When he got back, he saw Ziva sitting on the couch, wincing with a hand on her chest.

"You ok?" Tony asked.

"I'm fine. My chest has been hurting a little; that's all."

"Chest pain? Isn't that serious?"

"Maybe if you are a sixty-year old man. It's not a big deal. But if you're worried, I can ask the doctor when I go back for that sleep—test—thing."

"What test?"

"That doctor seems to think that there is something medically wrong that is causing it. If they can figure out what it is, then hopefully they can stop it or I will not feel safe sleeping here anymore."

"Ok. Let's go."

"You're going with me?"

"Yeah. I want to find out what's going on too."

House stood in front of the whiteboard twirling his cane as usual. Behind him was Thirteen slouching in her chair looking annoyed, Taub looking angry, Foreman leaning back looking resigned, and Kutner looking mildly interested. They had been dragged in at 6:46 pm to work on a new case. All knew it was going to be a long night.

"34-year-old female, twenty-three weeks pregnant, presents with intermittent chest pain, cough and sudden onset of partial sleep arousal," House said, writing the symptoms on the board.

"Overweight? Cholesterol high?" Taub asked. "This could be just the beginnings of a heart attack that presents early in life."

"Runs daily, eats well, underweight if anything. Plus ER did a troponin; came back normal." House turned to look at them. "And do any of you really believe that I would give you something that easy?"

"Partial sleep arousal can indicate kidney problems," Kutner said. "Could be renal failure with hypervolemia and it's causing heart failure."

"You said the sleepwalking started first and then these problems; maybe it was an infection that started in her brain and spread to her heart." Thirteen said. Foreman scoffed at her.

"She would be dead long before it had a chance to get there," he said. "If it started in her brain, cancer is much more likely. It could even be located just in her heart and the sleepwalking is just paraneoplastic syndrome."

"She's pregnant; choriocarcinoma, maybe?" Kutner said.

"Way too late for that." Thirteen. "It could be autoimmune; vasculitis from lupus or Bechet's explains the chest pain and the sleepwalking."

"Or maybe endocarditis," Taub said. "We can't automatically assume that the chest pain and the sleepwalking are connected; it could just be hormones."

"Or it could be a brain trying to tell us that it's not getting enough oxygen," House said. "Echo her heart to check for structural problems and cancer, ANA and sed rate for lupus, EKG to check for arrhythmias, MRI her head to check for brain cancer, CBC for infection, BUN and creatinine levels for kidney problems and call OB for a non-stress test." All four stopped and stared at him. "Well, if her brain isn't getting enough oxygen, then neither is the fetus. And I do not want to be taking care of a pregnant woman who is constantly worried about her offspring. Do the test."

"Where is she now?" Thirteen asked.

"Sleep lab. Oh, and, before you go down there, I'd remove any sharp objects that you're carrying. She gets kind of feisty during REM sleep. Has dreams about being a dominatrix." His team rolled their eyes and went to run their respective tests.

In the sleep lab, the EEG technician was applying electrodes to Ziva's head with some kind of sticky gel that she was sure she would never get out of her hair. Tony was sitting in a chair in the corner reading a magazine, or pretending to. After the EEG leads were on, EKG leads were also applied and an oxygen saturation monitor was placed on her finger. The technician told her that she could sleep, but she sat up for a while staring at Tony.

"How long are you going to stay here babysitting me?" she asked.

"What?"

"You're here to make sure that I don't run off to Israel while you're not looking." Tony sighed and turned the page.

"I don't really want to talk about this right now," he said.

"But that is why you're here."

"No, actually I'm here to make sure that you don't run off with our _daughter _to Israel. Apparently you can make your own decisions about how things are going to work in this family since you're the woman and you have the uterus and all that."

"I am sorry that I slapped you. I…got a little carried away."

"Thanks."

"And I am sorry for what I said. It was wrong. I was angry and I wanted you to feel as badly as I did. I know now that you didn't deserve it."

"Right, because there was no actual cheating."

"I know. I believe you. Although, you have to admit, your previous record is against you as far as monogamy goes."

"That doesn't mean that you have the right to hide it from me that you're pregnant and then take my child five thousand miles away from me!" Tony said, suddenly bursting. "You decide that you don't want to be with me anymore, fine. But it's not just about us anymore. Don't you think I should have at least known that she _existed_?Even if I was a bad husband, that doesn't mean I'll be a bad father. I mean—I just can't believe that you'd do all this just to punish me!" Ziva looked at him, then back at the wall she had been staring at.

"I wasn't doing it to punish you," she said, finally. "I was going to come back and let you be there when she was born. But I was going to Israel because—I was stressed out and angry and I wanted to get away from everything. "

"There are other places you could have gone, Ziva. You think I want to wake up every morning wondering if my wife and baby have been killed in a suicide bombing or shot by a sniper?"

"I wanted to see something familiar and be comforted a little. Don't you think you would have done the same?"

"I at least would have talked about it."

"I thought that I knew what would happen if I did."

"Right. You know everything that I'm going to say or do, so I'm guilty without even a chance to defend myself. So how's it going to work when we're raising her, since you apparently think you can make all the decisions for her? Tell me, honestly, Ziva, do you think you can do a better job on your own? You think she doesn't need a father?"

"I didn't think she needed a father who would treat her like she was nothing to him, the way I thought you were treating me!" Ziva said, getting upset. Tony gave her a cold stare.

"If you don't trust me, and you don't believe that I love you and her, then what are we doing here?" he asked her. Before Ziva had a chance to answer, Foreman came in.

"I'm sorry," he said. "But this is a medical test, and for us to perform it, you really need to be asleep. The sooner we see what's going on in your brain, the sooner we can help you." Tony grabbed his magazine, seeming only too happy to be out of the room.

"Tony," Ziva said.

"I'll be out here." He turned to look at her, his eyes still cold. "Till 0415," he added, then left. Ziva sighed, then, not seeing what else she could do, laid down and tried to sleep.

Taub leaned on his elbow, watching the EEG run. The little squiggly lines ran hypnotically across the screen and his eyelids were starting to drift closed. He wasn't as young as he used to be and the late nights were taking their toll. Foreman glanced over and nudged him. Taub startled, then sighed and took a long drink of his coffee. Foreman shrugged.

"It's the nature of the job," he said. "Feast or famine here."

"Yeah," Taub agreed. "I just wish that the feast parts were farther apart." His wife was furious that he had to work late again. He could sympathize with the couple's 'discussion'. The man was asleep in the waiting room; at least he looked asleep.

"You figure House is right? There's a problem with oxygenation to the brain?" he asked Foreman.

"Probably," Foreman admitted. "But I try not to make assumptions. The fewer people who treat him like he's God, the better." He sat upright and looked at the video monitor. "And there she goes," he said. In the room, Ziva was moving around; it looked like she was about to get out of bed. The EEG showed the typical signs of partial sleep arousal.

"She's going to pull out all the leads if we don't stop her," Taub said. He and Foreman looked at each other. Considering her husband's condition, they were both a little wary.

"We'll both go in," Foreman said. "Surely she can't take us both."

Ziva seemed to be trying to get free of all the wires that held her to the bed. Gently, Foreman took hold of her shoulders and tried to guide her back to bed. She shook him off.

"Taub," he whispered. "Gonna need some help here."

"Look at her pulse ox," Taub said. It had dropped from a baseline of 96% to 90%.

"Ok, House was right," Foreman said. "Help me get her back in bed and we'll put O2 on her." They both tried to take hold of her; she pushed them off even more roughly.

"Better let me handle this." Tony was standing in the doorway. Foreman gestured for him to go ahead. He approached her slowly. She was already pulling off the EKG leads.

"Ziva," he said. "Sweetie, it's me, Tony. See, your dream just got better." He touched her arms and she didn't try to resist. "You really need to leave those on there," he said. "C'mon, let's go back to bed before you find any sharp objects." Ziva allowed him to guide her back to the sleep lab bed and laid back down. Foreman attached a nasal cannula to the oxygen port on the wall and handed it to Tony. Ziva tried to swat him away, but he got it on her. "Just some oxygen, for you and the baby. You'll feel better now." The pulse ox jumped to 95%. The EEG showed brain waves of normal sleep. Tony put the blanket over her. "Sweet dreams," he said. "As long as they don't involve impaling me this time." The three of them backed out of the room.

"So you two are…?" Taub asked.

"Oh, I knew she was going to drive me crazy when I married her," Tony said. "Can't blame her for acting the way she always does."

"Why not?" Taub said, rather cynically. "That seems like what she did with you."

"Yeah," Tony said. He looked at his wife sleeping on the monitor. "But I can't leave her now. I'm not going to leave my daughter before she's even born. We'll work it out."

"Good for you," Taub said.

The next morning, Taub and Foreman told House what had happened.

"MRI was clean," Foreman said. "I did a transesophageal echo since we suspected vasculitis and I was right; there's inflammation around the aorta and pulmonary arteries. That must have been what caused the drop in oxygenation; her heart rate goes down and it can't pump enough blood to the brain because of the swelling."

"Unless," Thirteen said. "there's inflammation in the blood vessels in her brain too. There's no infection, no kidney problems, no arrthymias, and since there are no ulcerations, it's got to be lupus. We need to start her on steroids."

"Sure," House said. He was still staring at the white board. "It'll give us a chance to figure out what's really going on there."

"You don't think it's lupus?" Foreman asked. House gave him a look. Then scoffed and limped out of the room.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: T

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

The doctors started her on steroids. Tony had gone back to work, so Ziva called him that afternoon.

"Hi," she said hesitantly when he picked up the phone.

"Hey." The tension was still heavy.

"They're letting me go home this evening," Ziva finally said. "They gave me some medication and I feel much better. I shouldn't be dangerous to sleep next to any more. That is," she added. "Assuming I'm not going to be sleeping alone for the next few months." There was a pause. "Well, Tony?"

"What am I going to do?" Tony said finally. "Leave you when the reason I got angry was that you wanted to leave me?"

"As I recall, you were more upset that I didn't tell you that I was pregnant."

"I was. But the things I said last night…I didn't mean them."

"Neither did I. I do not really think you will be a bad father. I know that she needs you. I need you." There was a moment to let the tension lift and the silence became more comfortable.

"So they figured out what's wrong?" Tony asked.

"Yes. I have a chronic disease called lupus something. It's an autoimmune disease; basically my immune system has been attacking my body and that has caused inflammation in my blood vessels. And they did a test and told me that the baby was fine; nothing has happened to her because I'm sick."

"Did they think something had?"

"The blood vessels around my heart were not pumping enough blood and so my brain wasn't getting enough oxygen while I was sleeping, which caused the sleepwalking. They were worried that the lack of oxygen had affected the baby too. Speaking of sleepwalking," she said. "The doctors told me that you stopped me from breaking their arms last night."

"Yeah. Still, it was kind of creepy with you being asleep and all. Like _Night of the Living Dead_ or something."

"For the record," Ziva said. "When I stabbed you, I was not stabbing _you._ I was actually stabbing a monkey who had stolen the papaya that I had been cutting up and was taunting me with it."

"You have dreams about stabbing monkeys?" Tony asked.

"If they try to steal my food," Ziva said, with a chuckle. "I've been eating a lot of papayas lately. And mangos."

"What is it with pregnant women and fruit?" Tony asked.

"I also have been craving jalapeño-flavored potato chips."

"Ok, that's definitely one I haven't heard before. I'll have to go shopping. Think Gibbs will let me steal you for a few more days?" 

"Gibbs thinks I'm in Israel," Ziva said. "I can stay as long as you want."

House threw a piece of popcorn into his mouth. He had discovered that you could find almost anything on YouTube and was in the process of formulating a mocking comment to tell Cameron about people in ERs with objects in certain orifices when Foreman walked in.

"What?" he said. "Can't charge the porn sites to the hospital if you're not here in your office?"

"Nope," House said, and tossed another popcorn kernel into his mouth. "Cuddy's credit card number works just fine in my apartment. I am here waiting for the patient to return."

"Ziva went home five hours ago," Foreman said. "Just accept that once in awhile, a case isn't quite as puzzling as you thought it was." House sat up and looked thoughtfully at Foreman.

"Do you ever get the feeling that our lives are just the manipulations of all-powerful puppeteers who create and send me all the weird stuff that we get purely for their entertainment? And that's why our cases are _never_ as easy as this one was?"

"Maybe sometimes," Foreman said. "You?"

"Never. But it's not lupus."

"It was lupus once!"

"But not this time. I should be getting a call from the ER right about—now." He looked at the phone. Nothing happened. Foreman sighed and turned to leave. The phone rang. House grinned.

"Man, I'm good!" he said. "House. Well, of course it is. Start her on heparin and get a V/Q scan. Someone from my team will be there soon." Foreman groaned.

"It's 9:30!" he said. House smacked himself on the forehead and pretended to be distraught.

"Oh, that's right; when we discharged her, I forgot to tell her the new policy: patients can crash and die between the hours of 9 and 5 only!" He gave him a look. "Get everyone in here. Our little sleep-stabber just came back in. Shortness of breath, chest pain, and here's the fun ones; her blood pressure's 90 over 40 and her lungs are filling with fluid. ER's starting her on heparin for the PE she's got, Levo for her pressures, Lasix for her lungs and we get to figure out why her heart's failing. "

"You're _sure_ it's not just a heart attack?" Taub said, skeptically.

"Her troponin was even lower than the first time she came in. It's not an MI." He held up a hand. "Scout's honor."

"No, it makes sense," Thirteen protested. "Deep venous clot in her leg breaks up; one part goes to her lungs and causes a pulmonary embolism, the other goes to her heart and causes an MI. Add in that there was—strenuous physical activity—and it's got to be that."

"Right," House said. "Make-up sex was killer. Literally. It's _not_ an MI. There's not even a venous clot to cause one."

"Then give me another reason for why a healthy young woman with no previous cardiac history suddenly has heart failure," Foreman said.

"Um, I thought that's what I had you guys for," House said. "You saw _nothing_ during the echo?"

"Her heart was clean! There was nothing structural to indicate a problem."

"Pulmonary hypertension caused by the embolism?" Taub.

"She'd have to have a quarter of her blood volume stuck in her lungs; she would have drowned already." Thirteen.

"Could be damage caused by drugs or alcohol," Kutner said.

"She'd have other problems than just her heart if she was using them."

"Or maybe she's being poisoned. Maybe there _is_ a reason that she stabbed her husband," Taub said. House pondered.

"Kutner, Thirteen," he said. "Go to her apartment and her workplace; look for anything that could cause these symptoms."

"You mean the ones 200 miles away in DC?" Thirteen asked.

"No. Why would I ask you to do that? I mean the fake ones. They're right here in the hospital. Only downside is, the cure you get for heart failure there is also fake. Yes, I mean DC. I'll reimburse you. Go."

"Tonight?"

"I can't think of a better time."

The two doctors left, looking pained.

"Taub, go talk to the happy couple and ask them about drug and alcohol use. Foreman, do another echo."

"What could have possibly changed since this morning?" Foreman demanded.

"You'll know…when you do the echo." Taub and Foreman left.

Tony wasn't used to feeling totally useless. However, this time there really was nothing he could do. Ziva was sitting up as far as she could on the hospital bed breathing way too fast. They were giving her some kind of medication that was supposed to get the clot out of her lungs—a pulmonary embolism, they had called it. Apparently it was not uncommon in pregnant women. However, rapidly dropping blood pressures and fluid in the lungs were not. There was something wrong besides just a blood clot. Tony was no doctor, but he knew that this could be nothing good.

Ziva took the oxygen mask off of her face and took a drink from the glass of water sitting on her bedside table. As she swallowed, she started to choke and cough; Tony got up and ran to her and patted her on the back as much as he thought he safely could, considering her condition. Finally she stopped coughing and gasped for a few minutes.

"I can't…even stop…breathing…long enough to…take a drink," she said to him. "What…the hell…is wrong…with me?" Tony put his arms around her while she put the mask back on her face. He could feel her whole chest heaving with each breath.

"I know it's scary," he said, remembering his bout with respiratory failure from the pneumonic plague. "Like your whole body wants to panic, but you can't, because you can't breathe for long enough." Ziva nodded and leaned against him.

"Did they say…how long…the medication…would take?" she asked him.

"No idea. It shouldn't be too much longer. You think there's anything that could take your mind off of it?" Ziva shook her head. "Didn't think so. But you won't be alone; I'll stay here with you." Her body felt limp in his arms; she was exhausted just from breathing. He glanced at the monitor on which could be seen their baby's heart rate; to make sure that Ziva's problems weren't causing harm to the baby, they had taped a fetal heart rate monitor to her abdomen. The doctor said that the heart rate was a little lower than they would like it to be, but nothing to worry about right then. At that moment, it was still steady.

"Baby's ok," he told Ziva. "Try to think about her. When you get out of here, we can go to that baby store and buy as many pairs of baby shoes as you want. And I swear I will not tell anyone if you get her some cute little pink ones with frills and lace—since she is a girl."

"You think…she will be…that kind…of girl?" Ziva asked.

"She might. Or she might turn out to be just like you in which case her first pair of shoes should be tiny combat boots; I wonder if they make those." Ziva laughed, and then started coughing. She kept coughing and it was starting to scare Tony, when finally she stopped and gasped for air again.

"I'm…ok," she said, seeing the look on Tony's face.

"No, you're not ok. You need some help; I'm going to go get someone."

"Why?" Ziva asked. "I'm…the same…as I was…ten minutes ago…when the nurse…was here."

"You're not getting better. They need to do _something_. I'll be right back." Foreman came in then with the echocardiography machine.

"What's going on with her?" Tony demanded. "I thought you said that the drugs would clear up the problem."

"It might just take longer than we thought it would," Foreman said, using one of his standard answers for overanxious family members. "Let's give it a little more time. Right now I need to do another echocardiogram."

"Has…something…changed?" Ziva asked.

"It's possible," Foreman said. Tony glared at him.

"Haven't we done enough tests?" he said. "You know what the problem is; why aren't you doing something to fix it?"

"We can't do anything to fix it until we know what is causing it," Foreman said, getting more and more exasperated.

"But this is the same test you did a couple of days ago. Shouldn't you—" Foreman wasn't listening to him anymore; he brushed past Tony with a worried look on his face.

"Taub, get in here!" Tony heard him yell. Ziva was lying flat on the bed, eyes closed, unconscious. Not breathing.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: K+

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

A/N: This story is part of an AU I share with lunarmoth131. Part of the backstory is that Gibbs and Abby are married and have a son. Abby had some major problems with the delivery and had to have an emergency C-section. Needless to say, this scared the hell out of Gibbs.

Chapter 5

Surveillance tapes had to be one of the most boring things on the planet. However, Gibbs managed to watch them attentively. With the help of enough coffee to kill a rhinoceros. He had started on tape 4 of 37 when his phone chirped.

"Gibbs."

"Sir, this is Security Officer Ryan Ward. Could you come down to the security desk at the front, please? There's a man here who needs to speak with you."

"About what?"

"You are Officer Ziva David's superior, correct, sir?"

"Yes, but Officer David is currently in Israel; I'm not her superior at the moment."

"The doctor still insists on talking to you, sir."

Doctor? Why would a doctor need to talk to him about Ziva? "Be there in a minute," he told the security officer, and took the elevator down. When he got to the security desk, he saw a man in a white lab coat, trying not to look intimidated.

"Special Agent Gibbs, Dr. Kutner from Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital," the guard said.

"Hello, Agent Gibbs," Kutner said, and offered his hand. Gibbs took it warily.

"Could I see Officer David's workplace?" he asked.

"Why?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm not really at liberty to say. There are certain laws—"

"And there are also certain laws that prevent you from entering a government institution without a damn good reason," Gibbs said. "Now, why do you need to see her desk?" Kutner hesitated for a moment.

"I need to check for any toxins that she might have inhaled or ingested," he said. "Have you or any of your coworkers been feeling ill?"

"No," Gibbs said. "Is Ziva sick?"

"Yes," Kutner said. "She's in the ICU at Princeton-Plainsboro." Military training prevented Gibbs from looking as alarmed as he felt. All he did was stare at Kutner for a minute, then nodded to the security guard, who allowed him to follow Gibbs.

"Hey, Boss," McGee and Makowski said in unison when Gibbs reappeared from the elevator with Kutner behind him. "Abby got a print match on our guy," McGee continued. "Found him in the Navy database. Name's Petty Officer Gerald Donner." He put up on the screen the picture of the Navy officer who was now suspected of killing a female Navy Lieutenant. Gibbs looked at the picture for a moment.

"You feeling alright, McGee?" he said. "No health problems?"

"Um, no, not since I got over that cold I had."

"Makowski?"

"Nothing."

"Something wrong, boss?" McGee asked. "And who's this guy?" Kutner was already poking around Ziva's desk, taking swabs as he went.

"He's a doctor from New Jersey," Gibbs said. "Go pick up our Petty Officer and ask him a few questions."

"You're not coming?" Gibbs looked at him. "Right. Let's go, Makowski." Both men grabbed their gear and left. Gibbs turned to Kutner.

"What's wrong with Ziva?" he demanded.

"I'm trying to find that out," Kutner said. "I work with a very specialized team at the hospital; we're working as hard as we can."

"What are her symptoms?"

"Heart problems. And she's got a blood clot in her lungs. Last I heard, they had her intubated." Kutner figured that his best chance to get any helpful information was to tell Gibbs what he wanted to know, whether or not it was illegal. "The blood clot can be explained by the pregnancy but the heart fail—"

"The _pregnancy_?" Gibbs said, losing his cool a little. "Ziva's pregnant?" Kutner nodded.

"It complicated things a little more, needless to say," he said. "We think that toxins may have damaged her heart and we needed to check here to see if this was the source. Do you have a break room or something where she may have stored her food?" Gibbs showed him where the break room was. Then he went outside and called Tony.

"Hello?" Tony's voice sounded distant.

"Tony, when were you planning on telling me that Ziva's in a hospital on a ventilator, not to mention pregnant?" Gibbs demanded. There was a silence. "DiNozzo!"

"Sorry, boss," Tony said. There was another pause.

"Are you awake, DiNozzo? What the hell happened in New Jersey? Why is Ziva even still in the country?"

"She wanted to leave me." Tony still sounded dazed. "She thought I was cheating on her. And then, she stabbed me and we met this doctor and they gave her something and she got better…then suddenly she couldn't breathe right and I had to bring her back and now she's…I was going to tell you, but I didn't want to call you till Monday."

"This _is _Monday," Gibbs said. "Have you been drinking?"

"No. I haven't left the room. I don't want her to wake up by herself."

Gibbs remembered the feeling. He could still see Abby lying on the table in the Obstetric OR at Georgetown pale and motionless, the life draining out of her. He struggled for a moment between two options; his job mandated that he stay and make sure a killer was brought to justice. On the other hand, he knew exactly where Tony was and he also knew that it was no place that any one should be alone. He thought for a minute, then sat down to watch the surveillance videos again.

However, on tape number 9, he changed his mind. He called McGee.

"How are things going?" he asked him.

"Everything points to Donner, Boss. I should be able to wring it out of him pretty soon."

"Well, then, you think you could handle this one by yourself?" McGee was silent for a moment.

"Me, take the lead on the case?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. You've been Senior Field Agent for almost two years and I've never let you handle a case alone. I think it's time you had the opportunity."

"Boss," McGee said. "Does this have anything to do with that doctor who was swabbing Ziva's desk?" Gibbs thought a minute on how to answer that.

"It might," he said. "But shouldn't you be more concerned with putting a criminal behind bars right now, McGee?"

"Yes, Boss. I'll get back to work."

"I'm going to be out of state," Gibbs said. "If you really need help, there are other team leaders you could talk to."

"Right. I won't let you down, Gibbs." He hung up. Gibbs went down to the lab to talk to Abby. He didn't dare leave her out of this.

Minutes after he got off the phone with Gibbs, Tony watched Ziva's eyes slowly open. Then widen with panic. Every alarm attached to her started going off. She shook her head trying to get the tube out of her throat.

Tony was by her side immediately. "It's ok, Ziva," he tried to tell her. "They had to put a tube in you to help you breathe. It's alright; calm down." His words sounded empty. Ziva looked at him, still terrified. At the sound of the alarms, the nurse, Rebecca, came in. She turned off all the alarms and then tried to talk to Ziva.

"Try not to fight it, honey," she said. "I know; it's scary and it hurts, but it'll just make it worse if you keep fighting." Ziva seemed to calm down a little bit. "Are you having any pain?" Ziva nodded. "On a scale of 1 to 10?" Ziva held up six fingers. "I'll be right back. Oh, and we have this for you; it'll make it easier for you to communicate." She handed Tony a whiteboard with an erasable marker. Ziva extended her hand and he gave it to her. She scribbled something then handed it back to him.

_What happened?_ As coherently as he could at that point, Tony told her what had happened. Her blood pressure had dropped again and she had lost consciousness. Exhausted from having to breathe so hard, she had almost stopped altogether until they put the endotracheal tube in and hooked her up to the ventilator. Normally ventilated patients were given enough sedation to keep them from waking up and panicking like Ziva had done, but because of the baby, they were hesitant to give her more than light sedation. They were still doing everything they could to maintain her blood pressure. Ziva listened quietly, still looking a little scared. _The baby?_ She asked next.

"Baby's still ok," Tony said. "They have you on some drugs to keep your blood pressure up, so there's still enough blood getting to her."

_Will they be able to take the tube out?_

"I don't know. You were having so much trouble breathing and they just needed to help you a little bit. I'm not really the one to ask about all this. Could you page one of her doctors now that she's awake?" Tony asked Rebecca, who had come back in with a syringe of pain medication.

"Of course," she said, and injected it into Ziva's IV. "Is the pain still in your chest?" Ziva nodded. _Do they know anything more about what's wrong with me?_

"Still working on it, sweetie," Tony said. "Don't worry, they'll figure it out." He took her hand and smiled; she didn't look comforted.

Tony wasn't either. He felt like he was far away, watching himself say these things to her and not really meaning them. But what else could he say? Telling her that he was more afraid than he ever had been in his life wasn't going to make her feel better. He knew she must be terrified too. He had no choice but to pretend that he knew that everything was going to be ok. For both their sakes.

Dr. Taub had been on his way down to talk to them when Rebecca paged him. As he entered the room, Ziva scribbled something on her whiteboard and flung it at him. _Why did you do this to me?_ She looked fiercely angry.

"We had to," he told her. "It was the best way to keep oxygen flowing to you and your baby." He hoped that appealing to her maternal side would make her a little easier to work with, considering the questions he was going to have to ask her.

_Can you take me off of it?_

"You can take some breaths on your own," Taub said. "The ventilator breathes for you sometimes, but it will also let you take your own breaths and every time you do, you'll feel it pushing air into your lungs. It's true that you can breathe on your own, but it's a lot of work for you and we want to conserve your energy as much as possible."

_What is wrong with my heart?_

"That's what I'm hoping to find out; I need to ask you a few questions and it's very important that you answer me honestly or we may not be able to tell what the problem is. We're not the police; we just need to know. Have you been taking any illegal drugs?" Tony looked angry, but Ziva just calmly shook her head. "Have you in the past?"

"Of course she hasn't; does she look like a junkie to you?" Tony asked. Then he looked at his wife; she was writing on her whiteboard.

_Some kind of stimulants. But it was at least eight years ago._ _Low doses, just enough to keep me awake for doing my job._ She looked apologetically at Tony. It didn't bother him much; this was the least of his concerns right now. If knowing this could help them cure her…

"You don't remember what they were?" Taub asked.

_Probably amphetamines. I only took them a few times. Could they have caused this kind of damage?_

"It's possible. And you haven't taken anything recently?"

Ziva shook her head.

"Ok," Taub said. "What about alcohol?"

"She's just a social drinker," Tony said. Ziva nodded.

"Ok," Taub said. "This is good. This will help us figure out what our next step needs to be."

_Is the blood clot out of my lungs yet?_

"It's hard to be sure. You won't be breathing any easier because blood is getting trapped in the blood vessels in your lungs and the pressure is high enough to push fluid out into the lung tissue. You'll be feeling very congested."

"If it was the drugs, what can you do for her?" Tony asked. Taub hesitated a moment before answering. It was hard to know how much hope to give them.

"If the damage is as severe as it seems to be," he said. "It'll be irreversible. But that doesn't mean there isn't any hope. We can put you on supportive therapy and when the baby is born, you'll be eligible to be put on the transplant list. As young and otherwise healthy as you are, you would be pretty high up." Ziva's face fell.

"I know the idea of a transplant is frightening and overwhelming. But it's better than the alternative," Taub said. "And it's not certain yet. I'll get back to you when we know something more." He left the two of them alone, hoping that the search in DC had turned up something.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: K+

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

Chapter Six

When Taub walked into House's office, Thirteen was on the speaker phone. She was in Ziva and Tony's apartment in DC and was reporting on findings.

"Not really seeing anything," she was saying. "I've got water samples, but the pipes look ok." She shone a flashlight under the sink. "There's some mold under here," she said. "Could it be a—"

"For the love of God; it's _not_ an infection," House said. "She's been on antibiotics since she got here and her white count hasn't moved."

"History's positive for amphetamine use," Taub said. "And her kidneys are starting to fail." House ignored the second part of the statement.

"How much?"

"According to her, only a few times almost a decade ago and in low doses."

"According to the patient? Was her husband in the room?"

"He won't leave."

"He's a Bond fan; tell him Sean Connery came in to have his tonsils removed. Do whatever you have to; get the history."

"Does it really matter?" Foreman asked. "We've got two organ systems failing, we haven't been able to fix either of them and now we're starting on a third."

"Where's Kutner?" House asked, ignoring him.

"The Navy Yard where NCIS Headquarters are. He's looking at the workplace." Thirteen said as she opened the cabinets. "No meds in here except Tylenol and an empty bottle of prenatal vitamins. You know, this might not be something so simple. She worked in antiterrorism in the Middle East; who knows what kind of stuff she was exposed to over there?"

"If this was biological warfare of some kind, then she's dead," Foreman said, leaning on his elbow, looking dejected. "We'll never find out what it was in time."

"Well, not if we don't try," House said. "My God; always so negative."

"She's almost dead already, House," Foreman said. "Now her kidneys are starting to shut down and without them, the fluid in her lungs will keep building up and she'll basically drown. Not to mention, if she crashes again like she did yesterday, we'll never be able to get her pressure back up."

"I'm with Foreman; this is starting to sound like something we caught too late," Thirteen said. "I've looked all over; no drugs." House thought for a minute.

"Then get back here," he said. "Check the husband's apartment, her suitcases, everything."

"What about Kutner?"

"I'm about to call him. Go back to the Navy Yard; you can pick him up there."

"No, she can't," Kutner said, from the doorway. He looked at the grey-haired man behind him. "That's him." He pointed to House.

Gibbs stepped into the office and gave House an intimidating stare. "I'm Special Agent Gibbs, Ziva's boss," he said. "What's wrong with her?" he demanded. House stared back.

"Well, from the looks of things, we can add over-concerned boss to the list of problems," he said. "You sleeping with her? You don't have to worry, it's not contagious. At least we don't think so. Haven't had any severe drops in blood pressure or jugular venous distention lately, have you?"

"You son of a bitch; the only reason I don't have you by the throat right now is—"

"Yeah, yeah; you're too honorable to punch a cripple. I got it. Happens a lot. But aside from my shortcomings, if you want to help, we need some information. Do you know of anything that she might have been exposed to, either here or in Israel?"

"You think this could be biological warfare?" Gibbs said.

"We're willing to consider anything at this point," Taub said. "As best as we can tell, her heart was perfectly healthy until it suddenly decided to stop working."

"You mean you don't know what's wrong with her?" Gibbs said. The fear was evident on his face by this point. "I thought you guys were the best diagnostic team in the country."

"As I'm sure you know, sometimes the best doesn't cut it," House said.

"Let me talk to someone," Gibbs said. "We might be able to help." He stepped out of the office and dialed his phone.

The mood was pervasively solemn in the lab at NCIS. Everyone heard the silence and had the good sense to stay away from there. Abby wasn't talking to anyone anyway. She was finishing up her work as fast as she could so she could get to New Jersey. When her phone chirped, she jumped like she had Caf-Pow! for blood. (Which wasn't far from the truth)

"Is she ok?" she asked before Gibbs had a chance to even say hello. "Oh, God; is something wrong? I mean, obviously something's wrong, but is something wrong-er? Tell me she's ok, Jethro, please."

"I'm sorry, honey," Gibbs said. "She's still the same. Have you left yet?"

"I was just about to. Waiting on the mass spec from Jamison's case."

"Don't leave yet. If you can, I need to know any kind of biological warfare that could possibly hibernate in a person's body after exposure and then do its damage later. It could be what's causing all of Ziva's problems."

"The problem with secretly developed biological weapons?" Abby said. "The countries that develop them tend to keep them secret. But I'll see what I can find. There's no way to know when she was exposed?"

"Nothing's wrong with any of us."

"For now," Abby said. "But if it has a delayed effect on the body—"

"We could be looking at something serious," Gibbs said. "Do what you can, Abbs. I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you, too." He turned around just as Taub and Foreman left the office.

"We're about to go check on Ziva," Taub said. "Would you like us to show you where her room is?"

"Sure," Gibbs said, and he followed them.

When they got to the ICU, Tony saw the doctors coming and came up to them.

"You guys know anything about the pneumonic plague?" he asked.

"I've seen a case," Foreman said.

"Does it stay in the bloodstream or anything? Could I have given it to her and that's what's causing all this?"

"You've had the pneumonic plague?" Taub asked.

"Yeah. Long story. But could that have caused the damage?"

"If she didn't catch it at the time, I've never heard of the plague transmitted after the initial infection was over," Foreman said. "And it wouldn't be attacking the heart on this scale." Tony sighed.

"You guys know anything else?" he asked anxiously. "Was it the drugs?"

"Calm down, DiNozzo. Let them do their job." Tony looked past the doctors for the first time in the conversation and saw Gibbs. Gibbs walked up to him and embraced him. Tony felt such a sense of relief and comfort washing over him that it took an effort for him not to cry. "I've got Abby doing some research," Gibbs said. "Hopefully she'll find something. How is she?" Tony stared at the floor.

"Not good," he said. "Boss, you should know, she's got tubes everywhere. She doesn't look like herself; she's all pale and she can barely keep her eyes open. And she's still really mad about having to breathe through a tube."

"I remember," Gibbs said. "That thing hurts like hell." He and Tony went into the room. When Ziva saw them, something like a smile spread over her face.

"Hey, Ziva," Gibbs said. "How you feel?" Tony watched her write on her board; she had gotten so weak that now it was an effort just to form the letters. Her hands were swollen because the blood wasn't getting back to her heart and the fluid was collecting in her tissues.

_Terrible. Like I've been dead a few weeks._ Gibbs smiled.

"I've seen you look worse," he said. "And when you get better, there's the little matter of how you've been out in the field while pregnant for the past six months. Forget to tell me?"

_Going to fire me, Gibbs?_ Her eyes smiled.

"Don't worry; you guys are going to need the money," Gibbs said. "Just don't let it happen again. And congratulations."

Behind them, Taub and Foreman entered the room. Foreman looked grim.

"Agent Gibbs, Agent DiNozzo, could you give us a couple of minutes?" Foreman asked. Ziva nodded and looked at Tony and Gibbs.

"There a coffee pot somewhere around here?" he asked Tony, and they both left.

"We need to ask you a few more questions," Taub began. Foreman stopped him.

"Ms. David," he said. "We're still looking for what may have happened and we will still do everything we can to help you. But we need to talk to you about what is really happening." He paused and sat down beside her bed.

"Along with your heart and your lungs, your kidneys are starting to shut down. You are going into something called multi-system organ failure, something that very few people come out of alive. We are still trying to find out what caused it, but realistically, even if we do, it is unlikely that we will be able to save your life."

Ziva looked stunned for a moment, then nodded.

_What about my baby?_

"Our only option is to deliver her."

_But she's only twenty-four weeks; will she be ok?_

"She will have all the problems of prematurity," Foreman said. "But at least it will give her a chance. If your blood pressure were to drop again, it's unlikely that she would survive. We'll keep giving you high doses of steroids and hopefully that will help her mature faster."

Ziva stared down at the whiteboard for a moment, then wrote.

_I need to talk to my husband; he has as much right to make this decision as I do. Also, if I'm going to die, I think he should hear it from me first._

"Ok," Taub said. "We'll let you two talk about it. Would you like us to send him back in?"

_Not yet, _Ziva wrote. _I would like some time alone. _Both doctors nodded.

"While we're here" Taub said. "Can you think of any kind of biological or chemical warfare that you may have been exposed to at any point in your career?"

_I don't remember anything in particular, and I never had any unexplained health problems before this. If I was exposed, I couldn't tell you to what. Is that what you think caused this?_

"Considering your profession, there is a high probability. Let us know if you think of anything. I know it's difficult, but even if it can't help you, it may be able to help someone else who could have been exposed." Ziva nodded again. "Is there anything we can do for you right now?"

_No. _

"Alright. We'll be back in to check on you later."

Tony was down the hall, watching the doctors talk to Ziva. Gibbs was on the phone.

"I can't find anything, Jethro. I'm so sorry. I checked and double-checked and triple-checked; nothing in the database causes delayed heart damage. Even if she wasn't symptomatic, the damage would be visible with internal imaging tools."

"It's ok, Abbs. Thanks for trying." 

"I just dropped Jackson off at the babysitter's and I'm almost to the airport. I'll call you when I get there."

"Ok. Have a good flight. I love you."

"Love you too."

"Nothing?" Tony asked. He refused to take his eyes off the room.

"Abby can't find anything. Doesn't mean it's not there."

"Yeah. Just means there's nothing we can do about it."

"Don't give up hope, Tony."

"I know; there's been worse times than this and all. And there _were_ worse times, like when Kate died, and when Jenny died. And if Ziva dies—"

When the words crossed his lips, he couldn't hold the tears back. He sat down and pressed his face into his hands. Gibbs sat down beside him, but as soon as he did, Tony got up and walked the other direction, stopping for a minute outside Ziva's room, then moving on.

At 2130, Abby called from the airport. Tony hadn't returned and Gibbs was starting to worry about him, not to mention he didn't want to leave Ziva alone. He went walking the halls in search of him.

He found him in the lobby, staring at water falling over a tall marble slab behind a pane of glass.

"I need to go get Abby," he told him.

"Ok," Tony said.

"I don't want Ziva to be alone."

Tony didn't take his eyes off the falling water.

"Did you know that she tried to leave me, right before this all started? She thought I was cheating on her."

"Yeah. You told me."

"I was so angry. I couldn't believe she would do that to me. I yelled a lot."

"Tony, Ziva's not dying on purpose."

"Ziva's not _dying_," Tony said, desperately trying to believe his own words. "She's survived people shooting at her, strangling her, trying to blow her up…she can't die just because of some problem with her heart. People like Ziva don't die from that kind of thing." Gibbs moved toward him and stood right beside him. He didn't say anything for awhile.

"She loves you very much, Tony."

"So?" Tony said. "That's not going to stop anything from happening. I mean, I love her too. I love her so much that you'd think it should be able to—but it can't. I can't—how can there be nothing that I can do?"

"I know."

"And that doctor—that jackass with the cane?"

"I think I know who you mean."

"He said he could make her better. Doctors are supposed to do that. The people who are supposed to be able to help her and they don't know what to do. He lied to me; I just want to go break his other leg for that. This isn't fair, Gibbs. It should be someone else for once."

"I know."

"And I should—stop talking crazy and go sit with my wife."

"If you think you can."

"I'll go. I can make sure that limping son of a bitch doesn't come in and try to upset her even more."

"Go. I'll be back soon with Abby." Tony started toward the elevator and Gibbs toward the door.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: T

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

Chapter Seven

When Tony walked in to the room, Ziva reached out her hand to him and he went to take it.

"Feeling any better?" he asked. It was another of those empty, meaningless questions. She shook her head and handed him her board.

_I love you_.

"I know," Tony said. "I love you too. You think I would be here if I didn't?" He didn't want the conversation to go where he suspected it was going. She looked at him for a moment, then wrote again.

_The doctors talked to me earlier. I know you don't want to hear this, but_

Tony stopped her hand. "I _won't_ hear it," he said. "Ziva, you can't be giving up now."

_I'm not giving up. Just accepting the inevitable._

"I know it seems really bad right now, but we'll get through this. We've gotten through worse. Just stop thinking like that."

_You act like I was never going to die, Tony. It's going to happen. Soon; they told me I might have a few more days at most._

"Doctors don't know everything. And what about the baby? You have to live to have her."

_The doctors want to deliver her._

"But she's too small! She'll be sicker than you are."

_Better than her dying because my body can't support her. My blood pressure could drop again at any time. I want to get her out as soon as possible. They could do it as early as tomorrow morning. And then all this can be done with._

"What are you saying, Ziva?"

_You know what I am saying. This is pointless. After she is born, turn off this machine, get the tube out of me, stop the drugs. Let me die in peace._

Tony looked at the whiteboard for a long time until his hands started to shake. "I can't," he said. "I won't. You can't ask me to do that, Ziva." For a minute, the only sound was the beeping of the monitors. "No," he said. "I can't do it." He watched Ziva's lips form the word 'please.'

"I know you're in hell," he said. "Well, so am I. You're going to die, and I have to stay here without you; you really think it's fair to ask me to pull the trigger? You've got the easy way out and you want me to live the rest of my life knowing that I let my wife die?" A tear ran down Ziva's cheek and, weak as she was, she managed to turn over with her back to him. It was very much the wrong thing to say. He didn't really care. She wouldn't remember it; she would be dead.

"Ziva…" Tony said. It hurt him. He had never made her cry before. But what she was asking him to do hurt worse. He wanted to go to her and comfort her, but nothing he could say would make a difference. After standing there for a minute, he grabbed his chair and dragged it outside the room.

Knowing that he would get to see Abby was the only thing that was keeping Gibbs from going as crazy as Tony. Thinking about her and Jackson kept him focused, made him see something good outside the situation. He ached inwardly for what Tony must be feeling and simply because it seemed likely that he would lose a hard worker…and a very good friend. On the drive to the airport, he kept thinking of Abby. Remembering the fact that this time it wasn't _his_ wife was the only reason he could be there for Tony.

Abby was sitting inside on a bench. She was wearing her makeup, but her hair was down and she looked miserable. As soon as she saw him, she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him. He held onto her, taking as much comfort from her presence as she hopefully was from his.

"Anything?"

"Nothing, Abbs." He held her a little tighter for a moment, then let go. "Jackson ok?"

"I think he knew Mommy was upset," Abby said sadly. "He started crying as soon as we got to the babysitter and was even more clingy than usual. I tried not to seem sad, but you know; kids pick up on those things."

"It's ok, Abby. Bad things happen. I don't think you should try to keep kids from knowing about them; they need to know how to handle them." Abby nodded as they put her overnight bag in the trunk of the car.

"How's Tony?"

"Barely holding together."

"Are they going to lose the baby?"

"I don't know. Abby…I think we should be more worried about losing Ziva." Abby gasped, then stared at the floor as her eyes silently filled with tears.

"It's that serious?"

"I'm afraid so, honey."

"But…Ziva can't die; I mean, she's pregnant. Of all the times she could have died, it can't be now! Is there some kind of curse on us? Why can't any of us manage to reproduce without something bad happening?" Abby started to cry; Gibbs kept driving. When she was done crying, he took one hand off the wheel and wrapped it around hers.

Tony was still sitting outside Ziva's room, attempting to read the paper. He wasn't getting anywhere. And he couldn't get away from Ziva. She was there with him, like his senses had been heightened and every memory overwhelmed his consciousness. He could feel her body under the smooth material of her favorite dress. He could hear her laugh; first a chuckle, then a real laugh, like the night they had been up until 0300 in the morning and he had starting throwing Cheetos at her. He remembered the feel of her lips on his. And her pulling him close to her, wanting his touch. He knew the smell of her hair, warm and dark like an exotic flower. He could feel her toes brush against his as she fell asleep with her head on his shoulder. He could hear her voice. The way she could entrance him just by walking across the room. Every word she had ever said to him, the way she moved, the way she smiled, everything he loved about her was washing over him like floodwaters, dragging him down, and he was sinking and slowly drowning in it. He couldn't see or hear or even acknowledge anything around him; there was nothing in his world except Ziva. She was part of him. The part that was dying.

From his extremely limited religious training, Tony remembered something about how God was supposed to really like the Jews. Ziva was Jewish; surely God wouldn't want her to die.

"Ok," he said. "You know I have to be desperate to be doing this. But I need my wife. I don't know how to live anymore without her. And she's Jewish, one of Your chosen people and all that. My baby's half-Jewish. She's going need a mother. I know the Jews got all the cool miracles; seas parting and bugs and locusts and stuff like that. Maybe You have just a little bit of miracle—power or whatever to make her live? I mean, you wouldn't want my daughter to grow up with just me for a parent, right?"

He sat there, waiting for he didn't know what. When Gibbs and Abby came back, Abby had to shake him for a minute to get his attention. It was like being in a dream; they didn't seem real.

"What are you doing out here?" Gibbs asked him.

"She doesn't want me in there anymore," Tony said. "We kind of fought."

"Over what? She's in the hospital; what is there here for you to fight about?" Abby asked him. Tony turned around and looked at Ziva's still turned back through the glass.

"I won't do it," Tony said. "I can't just let her die. How does she expect me to live with myself?"

"What did she say to you, Tony?" Gibbs asked.

"She wants to stop everything," Tony said. "And die. She asked me to have them deliver the baby and then turn off the ventilator. She thinks we're just prolonging the inevitable." Gibbs looked into Ziva's room.

"Stay here for a minute, Abbs," he said, and went inside. Tony didn't follow him. Abby was trying her hardest not to cry, but she still sniffled every few seconds. Tony barely heard her. He had lost all sense of time, so he didn't know how long Gibbs was in there, but he came back out and stared at Tony until he looked at him.

"Tony, this is what Ziva wants," he said. "And, you know, she has the right to decide what happens to her." Tony didn't reply. "However, since the baby is yours, she says that she will do this only if you consent to it. It's still up to you."

"So it's not enough just that she's dying," Tony said. "I have to sign her death certificate?"

"If you were in her position, what would you want?"

_A quick bullet to the head_, Tony thought. "I know," Tony said. "It's the best thing to do. She won't have to hurt anymore. I'll consent."

"Ok," Gibbs said. "Maybe you should go spend some time with her. She asked me where you were." Moving like a robot, Tony picked his chair back up and took it in the room. He sat down beside her. Ziva took his hand; he didn't respond.

Later, Gibbs went to get some more coffee. Abby had curled up in another chair in Ziva's room and was hopefully sound asleep. He wandered out to the lobby where the big windows showed the night sky. Stars were visible between the clouds. Gibbs sat down and sipped his coffee for a minute. And let a few tears that he had been holding back drip quietly down his face.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: K+

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

Chapter Eight

Abby wasn't asleep. She wondered how anyone could sleep in a situation like this. Tony seemed to have forgotten what sleep was. He was just sitting there, staring at the floor, holding Ziva's hand. Abby could remember back to a time when she couldn't stand Ziva; it had felt to her like they were trying to replace Kate, as if she had been a puppy who ran away or something. But even back then, she wouldn't have wanted Ziva to die. And now that they were friends and she and Tony were married and about to have a baby…it was just unbearable that this should happen to them at this point. The doctors had been in earlier and had told them all, slowly and calmly (although she doubted that Tony had heard a word of it) what would happen in the morning. Ziva would be taken to an OR in the obstetrics wing and a C-section would be done. A NICU team would be standing by; they would give Ziva a chance to see the baby and then take her to the NICU. After that, they would all have a few minutes to say goodbye and then the ventilator would be disconnected. The drugs would be stopped, her blood pressure would bottom out and she would slowly lose consciousness and then die. It seemed so wrong; that someone who clung to life as stubbornly as Ziva had in the past would just die like that. It seemed wrong that anyone should die like that. Of course she didn't want Ziva to suffer. But she didn't want anyone else to, either. Wasn't there any way that someone could cure her, make her better? Wasn't that what doctors did?

At around 0030, McGee and Ducky arrived. Gibbs had called them to let them know that if they wanted to say goodbye, they needed to get there right now. He had also, quite bravely, Abby thought, woken up Vance and demanded to get in contact with Mossad because Director David had a right to know the situation. McGee stopped at the door looking shocked.

"It's alright, Timothy," Ducky said. "I know it looks overwhelming, but try to ignore it. Focus on Ziva; she is who we came here to see." He walked in and touched Ziva's hand; slowly her eyes opened.

"Hello, my dear," he said. "Agent McGee and I are here. Jethro called us." Ziva looked up at him and squeezed his hand.

"Hi, Ziva," McGee said, when he got up the courage to come over. She tried to smile at him. Ducky walked over to Tony.

"Hello, Anthony," he said softly. Tony didn't respond. Abby got out of her chair and went to Tony.

"Let's go for a walk," she said to him. "I need to stretch my legs. Let McGee and Ducky stay with her for a little while." Tony didn't say anything; Abby managed to pry him loose from Ziva's hand. She led him out into the hall and Tony walked beside her in a daze.

"Try to wake up a little, Tony," she said. "Ten years from now, you're going to be thinking back on this and wishing you could remember more. I know it's hard—"

"It's hard, Abby," Tony repeated. "I don't want to think about it or feel it. It's hard enough like it is."

"I know," Abby said. "And you've got to be really scared and angry."

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"What do you mean? For what?"

"Do you think my daughter will ever forgive me for signing that paper and letting her mom die?"

"Tony…"Abby was struggling, both to find what to say and to say it when she knew what it was. "If you didn't sign the paper, she could've died…too. And then…you'd be alone." Tony looked at her; she had never seen his eyes look so dead.

"Sometimes I think that I'd rather be alone," he said. "I can't do this without Ziva. I don't know what to do. I don't even know where babies sleep, for God's sake! I mean, I know what a crib is, but I've heard about these things called bassinets. Abby, what the hell is a bassinet?"

"It's this little thing like a small round crib with a skirt," Abby said. "You don't need one. A crib will be fine."

"I don't even have a crib. Even if I had known all along that Ziva was pregnant, I wouldn't be prepared for this. I've only known about her for three days now. And what do I name her? Ziva wanted to name her after her sister, but should I name her after Ziva now? I don't know. And she's going to come out so small and helpless; is she even going to live? And if they both die—Abby, I can't…I can't…" He collapsed on a bench in the hallway and wrapped his arms around himself, shaking. Abby started to cry again, but she tried to comfort him.

"I'm sorry, Abby," Tony said.

"You don't have to be," Abby said. "No one should have to deal with this."

House was sitting at his desk twirling a yo-yo, letting the facts simmer in his mind, waiting for them to react and come together with the answer. There was something different this time, something he couldn't put his finger on. Something was bothering him. When the door opened, he turned to look at his team; Thirteen had just gotten back from DC.

"Whatever this is, it's still hiding," he said. "We need to look at this from every angle possible. I want you guys to do every kind of cardiac and pulmonary tests you can think of, even the ones that we've already done. The answer's got to be there."

"Too late," Thirteen said. "Tomorrow morning we're withdrawing care."

"_What_?"

"She and her husband decided to deliver the child and then take her off the vent and the drugs. C-section is scheduled for seven tomorrow morning," Foreman added.

"They can't do that!" House said.

"Um, autonomy, patient rights, any of this sounding familiar to you?" Thirteen asked.

"That's the problem with healthcare in this country," House said. "Idiots can't get the same level of care as everyone else. It's completely unfair."

"It's her choice," Foreman said. "And there won't be an autopsy. As soon as she's declared dead, they're taking her body back to Israel. Jewish cultural thing." House threw his yo-yo too hard; it broke from the string and flew across the room.

"This is ridiculous!" he said. "As if God _really_ cares whether or not someone's been poking around inside your body after you're dead. Last I heard there's no station at the pearly gates to make sure you've got all your organs."

"She's the patient; she gets to choose," Kutner said.

"Not yet," House said. "Surgery's at seven; that gives us six hours. Taub, I want you to look at the list of causes of heart failure and check any we haven't ruled out. Thirteen, cross-reference her symptoms with known toxins. Kutner, look through every case of biological warfare ever documented and see if the symptoms match. Foreman—,"

"No," Foreman said.

"What?"

"I said no; I'm not doing it. This is not about her anymore, House; this is about your obsession and we'd be putting a woman through hell if we did anything else. It's over. Let go." He walked out before House could say anything. After everyone let that sink in, Thirteen got up.

"I'm with him," she said. "Why are we wasting our time for a patient that doesn't even want our help? We should all be at home getting some rest so we can save someone who does." She left. Taub shrugged and followed her. Kutner looked at House.

"Oh, go on," House said. "I know you're going to anyway."

"I just wanted to say, I know how you feel. I wish we could know what killed her too."

"Wouldn't change anything," House said. "She'd still be dead."

"It could've helped the baby. What if she comes out with the same problems her mom had?"

"We'd know about it already if it had affected the fetus."

"Not necessarily," Kutner said. "When she's born, after the foramen ovale and the ductus close, she could have the exact same symptoms."

House stopped. The mood in the room changed, like a sudden chord change on the TV that signaled when something important was happening. Kutner knew that expression. He looked at House expectantly, knowing he was about to say something nonsensical and then tell him to do something without telling him why.

"She already has them," House said. In his head, everything had suddenly come together like a chemistry experiment. "And the PE was hiding it; what if the pulmonary embolism wasn't a pulmonary embolism?"

"We checked her lungs; there's no problem there."

"But the PE never went away, right?"

"Right. Heparin didn't work; clotbusters and embolectomy surgery are out of the question because of the pregnancy."

"It's going to have to be an embolectomy," House said. "Who's the cardiac surgeon on call?"

"Sanders, I think."

"What about the pediatric cardiac surgeon?"

"I don't know. You think we'll have to do surgery on the baby?"

"Nope. Go prep her for surgery, call the on-call surgery staff and take her to whatever OR you can find. I'll take care of the surgeons." Kutner left to do what he was told. House didn't have time to explain to him what was going on and so he wouldn't have been able to talk the surgeons into coming in anyway.

An hour later, House was still on the phone trying to talk Sanders into coming in when the other line rang. He put Sanders on hold and allowed him to keep screaming obscenities at the phone while he picked up the other line.

"Am I speaking with Dr. House?" a deep, heavily accented voice asked. "This is Deputy Director David of Mossad."

"Yes. I was wondering when you would call, although it's completely unnecessary at this point. I just need to know a couple of things now. Patch or spring?" There was silence at the end of the line.

"Patch," David finally said. "It had just been taken off of experimental status; perhaps it did not—"

"Were there any complications?"

"No. Dr. House, I am—" House hung up the phone and picked up Sanders' line again.

"I have a confirmation," he told him. "It'll have to be a ligation; another patch would just cause the same problems. You know I'm right. You want this woman to die because you wanted a few more hours of sleep?" He heard an exaggerated sigh.

"Have her prepped and ready when I get there," he said. The phone went dead. House then got up and hobbled up the ICU.

Abby and Tony got back and saw Kutner and the night nurse apparently getting ready to take Ziva out of the room. Her eyes were closed; she was already medicated.

"Wait," Abby said. "I thought the surgery wasn't until tomorrow morning."

"This is something different, Abbs," Gibbs said. He was standing with McGee and Ducky in a corner out of the way. "It's heart surgery. They think they've found a way to help her."

"Think?" Tony said. "They _think_? This is Dr. House's idea, isn't it?"

"Just trust him," Kutner said. "I've been here for awhile and I've seen him figure out the answer from almost nothing. He must have had a—an epiphany or something. We have to get her to surgery now." Tony placed his hand on the side rail with a steely look in his eyes.

"No way," he said. "This isn't what she wants. She wanted us to get the baby out and withdraw everything and that's what we'll do."

"Tony," Abby whispered. "I think she would want to live. This could save her."

"It won't!" Tony shouted. "You and your boss should burn in hell for doing this—getting everyone's hopes up when we all know it's pointless. You could kill my daughter; I'm not letting you do this."

"Or," House said, from the doorway. "_You_ could kill your daughter, if you don't let us do the surgery. How'd you like to live with that?"

"Get out!" Tony yelled. "Ever since we met you our lives have gone to hell. Now we're supposed to trust you? Get out! Don't come near her!" He pushed Kutner away from Ziva's bed. "Both of you, get out!" Passersby glanced in to see what all the yelling was about.

"Tony," Gibbs said, approaching him slowly. "They aren't trying to hurt Ziva. The surgery could save her life. If anything happens to the baby, they have a NICU team there and they will deliver her. But if this works, we could keep them both." Tony stared at Gibbs, still shaking a little.

"If you're too stupid to go along with this," House said. "I guess I have to assume you _want_ your wife and baby to die. Wonder if I could get a court order to get you removed for wife and child endangerment. Or neglect, or even third-degree murder…"

Tony took a swing at him. Or tried to; not having eaten or slept in the past two days had made him weak. He missed House completely, staggered, then fell. Abby tried to catch him, but all she could do was guide him to the floor, only semi-conscious. She, Ducky, McGee, Kutner and House all looked at Gibbs.

"Do it," he said. He and McGee dragged Tony out of the way and Kutner and the nurse guided the bed out of the room and toward the OR.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: T

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

Chapter Nine

_I must be dead_, Ziva thought. _It doesn't hurt to breathe._

Tony. And the baby; had they gotten her out before she had died?

Panicked, she opened her eyes. And found that she had eyes to open. Also lungs and everything else that generally goes with a living body. She was still alive. How was that possible? She didn't hurt and there was no tube in her throat.

_Where am I?_ she thought. It was still the hospital; there were monitors and beds and people in scrubs. She was in a large room with all the beds together like a ward. Slowly she turned her head a little and saw that she was still attached to all the same monitors. Tucked away in the corner was the fetal heart rate monitor tracing a strong heartbeat. Her daughter was alive and still inside her. What had happened? She turned her head to the other side and saw Dr. House.

"I left my heart in Tel Aviv," House mused. "Or at least the records of my heart surgery."

"What—" Talking was out of the question. Her throat felt gravelly as sandpaper and about as dry.

"You were just extubated," House said. "I wouldn't recommend talking for another couple of hours. Don't worry; I've done this before and can pretty much anticipate all your questions. To start off with, you want to know what happened and what I mean by my amusing play on words. Here's the simple version; you had heart surgery when you were a baby, the complications came back to bite you now, so you had heart surgery again."

"'What on earth can you mean, Dr. House? I never had heart surgery.' You did. Your father told me so himself."

"'My father?' Yes, your father. He called me to tell me what your _real_ medical history was, the one he never bothered to share with you."

"'What didn't he tell me about?' Ok, here's the longer version. When you were born, you had a heart defect called patent ductus arteriosus. It's basically a big hole between two blood vessels above the heart. All fetuses have them in utero; because fetuses don't breathe air, it lets most of the blood bypass the lungs and get back to the rest of the body. However, this is a problem if it persists once the baby is born. You were one of those who didn't respond to medical treatment and so had to have surgery to repair it; basically a patch was put in to block it off. You recovered well and had no complications, so the entire diagnosis was erased from your record."

"'But why would my father do that?' Think about it. He works for the Israeli spy-and-kill organization and I'm sure he had similar plans for you. You were strong and there was nothing wrong with you apart from your history, which could have prevented you from joining. So he would just make that go away."

"'But what happened to make it worse, Dr. House?' You've been living with that patch all your life and your body got used to it for the most part. But, when you got pregnant, your immune system kicked into overdrive. Suddenly that big white thing in your heart was a huge threat and your body tried to get rid of it; that was where the swelling came in that we told you was lupus. We gave you steroids for that; steroids reduce inflammation. By this point, it was already detached from your blood vessels, thanks to the body's processes for ridding itself of foreign objects. And when the inflammation went down, it got sucked into your pulmonary artery and caused what we thought was an embolism. We removed it, by the way. Also, your ductus arteriosus was wide open again and blood was rushing out of your aorta into the pulmonary circulation and the right side of your heart. That was why your blood pressure dropped and there was so much fluid in your lungs. We did surgery to cut off the ductus and remove the patch so you're all better now."

"'Oh, Dr. House, how clever of you to figure it out. I'm so grateful I think I'll go start a religion; the Temple of House…" Ziva reached out and swatted at him with a glare.

"Where's Tony?" she said. House grabbed a cup full of ice chips sitting on the bedside table and handed them to her.

"Let me see you swallow," he said. "I need to know your reflexes are working. Then I'll send a nurse to go find hubby." The ice made her throat feel even worse as it was going down, but then it felt a little cooler and wetter and she took another spoonful, letting it melt in her mouth before she swallowed.

"Good," House said. "You'll be transferred back to your room as soon as you're stable. I'll have my team check in on you." Then he left.

Tony didn't understand what a ductus arteriosus was, or a vessel ligation. In fact, once he had learned that Ziva was alive and awake, he only heard two other words in the conversation: 'her father'. His reaction was fairly calm under the circumstances. The main thing that went through his head was 'That man is never coming near my daughter.' Even in the womb. Which meant he wasn't coming near Ziva.

"Is she going to have any other problems?" Gibbs asked Foreman when he told them the outcome of the surgery.

"Every case has certain chances of complications," he said. "But as far as we know, we got everything and she should be recovering."

They were sitting outside the ICU waiting for Ziva to come back up from the Anesthesia Recovery Room. Tony didn't remember anything from the previous evening. After they had gotten the news that Ziva had survived surgery and was doing much better, he turned to look at McGee and Ducky and asked, "When did you guys get here?"

"We have been here, Anthony," Ducky said, looking puzzled.

"Yeah, we got here last night around 0030," McGee said. "Don't you remember?" Tony shook his head. Gibbs took a minute to explain to him what had happened. He didn't omit anything and Tony was a little ashamed of himself for the way he had acted towards the doctors. At last someone came to tell them that Ziva was back in her room. Tony shot up from his seat and was rushing for the door when he realized that everyone else was still seated. He looked at them; they smiled and gestured for him to go.

"We'll be there in a minute," Abby said. "You go ahead."

When he got to the room, he suddenly stared to panic. Ziva's eyes were closed and she was still covered in IVs and monitor wires. Maybe they had lied to him; maybe she was still dying. Then her eyes opened and she whispered his name. Tony ran to her. He was afraid to do much with everything attached to her, but he took her hand and kissed it over and over and touched her face. She had tears running down her face and so did he, he realized after a minute. Then he decided not to be intimidated by all the medical stuff and he crawled onto the bed and wrapped her in his arms. He ran his hands over her face and her body, needing to reassure himself that she was still real. She laid her head on his shoulder and he felt her tears dripping onto his skin.

"I'm sorry, Tony," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. I love you, Tony. I didn't want to leave you. I never wanted to leave you."

"It's ok, Ziva. You did what any person would have done. I don't blame you. I wouldn't have wanted to live even a few more days like that."

"You aren't angry?"

"I was a little upset before. But you aren't dead, so what do I have to be angry about? Really, you should be angry at me. I wanted to stop them from doing the surgery." And speaking of angry…Tony just couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Of course, none of this would ever have happened anyway if it weren't for that rat bastard you call your father."

"Tony, please." Ziva looked at him and he realized that, as hard as it was for him to hear it, it was much harder for her. "Not now. I don't want to think about it right now."

"Ok," Tony said. "I understand. Let's go back to the part where I'm just glad you're still alive."

"That sounds nice."

"And…" Tony touched her belly. "When is she due?"

"January."

"_January_? Wow, that is—not far away. And we still have a lot to do."

"We'll be ok."

"You're right. Hey, we made it through this; what's a little thing like parenthood?"

The rest gave them a few minutes alone and then came in. With Abby in the group, of course it soon became one big huge hugfest. They talked and caught everyone up to speed on what was going on, but they didn't stay long to give Ziva a chance to rest. They went to get breakfast; Tony, of course, stayed with Ziva, holding her hand while she drifted off.

Title: Until I Fall Asleep

Author: lunarcaterpillar

Rating: K+

Spoilers: NCIS leadership situation as of season 6

Pairings: Tiva, some Gabby

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS and DPB; no copyright infringement is intended

House was hanging around by the front of the hospital talking to Dr. Wilson when he was approached by an older man who was one of those who just _felt_ imposing. "Excuse me," he said, in a manner that seemed disused to asking politely for anything. "Could you tell me where I might find the Cardiac IMC? I'm looking for Ziva David." Wilson watched to see what House would do.

He stared at the man for a moment, then said, "I think I know of her; she had cardiac problems and had to have a ligation for a PDA?"

"Yes, that is the one. Where can I find her?"

"Take the elevators to the fourth floor; turn left and ask for her at the desk."

"Thank you." Wilson stared at the man as he passed to go toward the elevators.

"That your patient's father?" he asked House.

"Yep," House replied.

"The one you just sent to the NICU?"

"Where else are you going to find patients who have had PDA ligations? It would only confuse everyone if I sent him to the CIMC."

"Did it ever occur to you," Wilson said, as they continued walking, "that maybe your patient _wants_ to see her father? Not everyone is like you, House."

"I know. But would _you_ want to see your father after you just found out that he's been hiding a life-threatening condition from you your entire life just so you could become a trained killer? I think not."

"You're the one who always says 'everybody lies.'"

"Yes, I am, and they do. I never said that they _should_."

"Why do you have to keep screwing with people at this point? You've solved the case, you've got the answer to your puzzle, and we've done everything for her that we can. But these familial problems are not something we can help people with. So why do things like this?" House stopped and stared at the wall.

"Because I'm on her side," he said. "She might not know it, but…I did _something_." He walked away to the elevators, leaving Wilson to psychoanalyze _that._

The cell phone rang. Tony was in an armchair with Ziva dozing in his arms when it did. She was improving rapidly; she had been in the ICU only 12 hours before she was transferred to Intermediate Care. She was off most of the drugs and the big monitors had been replaced by a telemetry EKG. She was sleeping in Tony's arms because everything that had happened had made her uncharacteristically snuggly.

Tony had told the nurses, doctors, unit clerks and even housekeeping that no one was to see Ziva or talk to her without running it by him first; he had left his cell number at the nurse's station to be called if any visitors showed up. He figured he knew what this was about.

"Be there in a minute," he said quietly, and then hung up. He carefully maneuvered out of the chair so as not to wake his wife and went out to the front desk. As expected, David was waiting for him. To Tony's relief, he didn't pretend to be happy to see him.

"Where is Ziva?" he demanded. "I would like to see my daughter."

"She's sleeping right now," Tony said. "But she's doing much better and I'd be happy to tell her you stopped by; I'm sure you're very busy. In fact, you're so busy you forget to tell your kids about medical conditions that they could drop dead at any moment from. I understand. It's hard being in charge."

"I will not be spoken to like this, Agent DiNozzo," David snapped. "I don't need to explain myself to you. Or to Ziva."

"Then why did you come? Time to break out the memory wiping device? Maybe a little hypnosis to make sure this doesn't interfere with any more of your plans for her life?"

"You can't keep me from seeing my own daughter."

"Watch me," Tony shot back. "You have no right to see her. Your selfishness put her here; I'm not letting you do any more damage."

"What damage? I made her into what she is now, someone her country could be proud of."

"How can you call yourself her father?" Tony asked. "Do you realize how much you've made her suffer already? Do you even care that she almost died? Of course you don't; you would rather her die than have anyone know that your daughter was less than perfect." David stared calmly straight ahead during this entire speech, seeming unconcerned.

"I guessed that this would be your attitude towards me now," he said. "I imagine that Ziva's own pregnancy makes it even more difficult for you."

"You hurt my daughter, you son of a bitch, and I swear to God I'll—"

"There is no need for that, Tony," David said. "Whatever your threat is, we both know you could not carry it out and I'm sure that God knows it as well. I have access to her medical records—everything that has been done to her here and why. I also know which room she is in and can go to see her myself if need be. However, foolishly I suppose, I decided to come as a regular visitor on the small chance that you might behave civilly and let me see her without any of this nonsense. I'm sorry, Tony." He walked around him and down the hall.

Tony thought about the chain of events if he suddenly attacked him and started beating the hell out of him. Security would be called; he would probably be arrested; after he had been checked for injuries, David would get to see Ziva anyway, and without Tony there to make sure he didn't hurt her any more than he already had. He decided it wasn't worth it and followed David.

Ziva was already awake when her father came into the room followed closely by Tony. The two of them had been yelling quite loudly. Tony couldn't read her expression as she stared at her father. "Shalom, Ziva." David said.

"Shalom, Father." Her tone was icy.

"I'll, uh—" Tony looked around and then stepped into the bathroom. "I'll be in here if you need me." He wasn't going to leave them alone, but knew David would demand something resembling privacy.

"Did you come all this way just to visit me in the hospital?"

"I did, but unfortunately I cannot stay long; I have only a short time to spend here and I was misdirected when I tried to find your room. How are you feeling?"

"Much better than I was. I should be able to go home in a few days."

"And the child you are expecting? Tony already told me it was a girl."

"We think so." She glared at him. "I appreciate you coming, Father, but I know why you are here. Just do what you came here to do and I won't take up any more of your time." David nodded and drew an envelope out of his pocket. He handed it to Ziva.

"I came here to see _you_," he said to her. He started to walk toward the door.

"In my defense, I will say that I allowed you to be who you are, Ziva. If I had told you, it would have made you cautious. You would not be who you are today. Think of how many lives have been saved because you are who you are. If anyone else had known, you would have been—"

"Worthless," Ziva finished for him. "To Mossad and to my country." She raised her eyes to look at him. "And to you." Her inflection made it almost a question. But if it was, David did not answer it.

"I am sorry," he said. "I can only hope that all goes well for you. I don't suppose I can expect a notification when my granddaughter is born—" He looked at Tony, who had come out of the bathroom since the conversation seemed to be coming to a close. "But I will be thinking about you, and her. And, perhaps, when you have her, you will understand me better." He left without another word. Tony stared after him for a minute, then rushed to Ziva's side.

"Are you ok?" he asked. Ziva looked like she had been hit with a wrecking ball. "What did he give you?"

Ziva looked at the envelope. Without even opening it, she said, "It's my letter of medical discharge from Mossad. Basically he came here to fire me. Because I am now what he feared I would become." She looked back at him. "Tony, you have been wonderful but could you give me some time alone?"

"Yeah," Tony said, feeling a little awkward anyway. "Yeah, sure, I'll go get dinner; you want anything?"

"No." Tony left her alone.

When Gibbs came to visit that afternoon, the unit clerk called Tony.

"I don't know if she'll want to see you," Tony told him. "She's pretty upset." He explained what had happened.

"I figured that was coming," Gibbs said. "I just figured the bastard would have the decency not to bring it up now. Guess I overestimated him. I'll check on her, at least."

"Gibbs," Tony said. "Speaking of work…she's not going to be able to keep her job with NCIS, is she?"

"It's true that since she's not part of Mossad anymore she can't be the liaison. And her current condition makes her ineligible to be a field agent."

"Don't tell her today, Gibbs," Tony said. "Please. It would crush her. Give her a few days at least."

"Don't worry," Gibbs said. "I won't give her any bad news."

When he went in to Ziva's room, she was sitting by the window with her arms wrapped around her knees. She didn't look at him as he sat down in the chair opposite.

"I know why you're here," she finally said, after a long silence. "I suppose it's best to get it all over with in one day."

"I'm not sure what you're getting at."

"You are here for the same reason my father was—to tell me that I won't be able to have my old job back. I know you have to do it and I understand."

"Actually, I'm not here for anything. Just here as a friend." He leaned forward and rested his arms on his knees. "I know today must have been rough."

"You know," Ziva said, after a few minutes. "He never changed. When I was younger, I lived to please him and would have done anything he asked, and then when I came here, I broke contact with him, more or less. Nothing ever changed. When I was in Israel, I couldn't please him and while I was here, he didn't seem to care whether I talked to him or not. At least he never tried to restore the relationship." She paused for a minute. "Tony doesn't want him to have anything to do with the baby. I have to admit that I agree, but wish I didn't. I wish there was something I could do so that my daughter isn't robbed of a grandfather."

"No one can make another person change," Gibbs said. "There's nothing that you or anyone else could have done."

"I keep wondering," Ziva said. "When she's born, if he were there, what kind of fault he would see in her. Maybe she would have the wrong color eyes or she would be too quiet and not aggressive. And I see Tony—" She looked out the window again. "I see Tony's face when we talk about her or when he touches my stomach. He loves her so much. He hasn't even met her and he loves her. And I wonder why—" She stopped talking and didn't continue. But Gibbs knew what she wanted to say. They sat in silence for a little while longer and watched the sun drift closer to the horizon. Then Gibbs spoke again.

"I said I was here as a friend," he said. "That's true, but I'm also here to ask you about something. Ducky did some research and he talked to your doctors—you know, you weren't sick for very long and although there is a lot of damage and you'll never be quite the same, your body will be able to repair itself. Within a year was their guess." Ziva looked at him with sudden spark of excitement.

"Really?" she said. "So…are you saying I might be able to work again next year?"

"Maybe sooner. You've still got to recover and I figure that by the time you do, you'll be needing maternity leave. But once you're medically cleared, NCIS has already accepted you as an agent. "

"Tell me you didn't sell your soul to Vance for this."

"I didn't do anything. Vance isn't an idiot; he knows what an asset you are. If Mossad doesn't want you, we'll keep you." Ziva smiled at him.

"Thank you, Gibbs."

"I just told you I didn't do anything. So are you going to take it?"

"Well, yes. I would love to stay with NCIS. And I suppose—there is nothing left for me in Israel."

Gibbs looked at her for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Ziva," he said.

"Nothing for you to be sorry for, Gibbs."

"Maybe not. But…" He placed a hand on her shoulder. "You deserve better." Ziva looked away.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she said. "My life was going to change anyway when the baby is born. Tony and I will deal with things. We will be fine." Gibbs nodded.

"You should tell him the good news," he said. "I should be getting back to Abby."

"Okay. I will call Tony. Thanks for coming, Gibbs." He got up and went to the door.

"And, Ziva?"

"Yes, Gibbs?"

"I'm glad you're still alive." She smiled and nodded.

"Me too. I'll see you tomorrow."

Gibbs left the hospital and made his way down to the exit. It had actually taken a lot more trouble than he had admitted to convince Vance that Ziva wasn't a security risk. He had finally reminded him that if she was a security risk, it was better to have her there at NCIS where they could keep an eye on her than out somewhere in DC. After almost losing her completely, Gibbs wasn't going to let her go just because Mossad had kicked her out.

Things would change, for her and Tony. He could only hope it was for the better.

A/N: I am not leaving it here. I have yet another story to follow this one and you will get to see them have the baby. I'll get to work on it soon. Hope you enjoyed this one!


End file.
